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Lost and Found

October 14, 2010 By: Debbie Smith2 Comments

“I lost it,” she said as she stepped outside the bathroom stall.  

“Uh, you lost what?” I asked, a bit hesitant to hear the answer from one of nine young girls I’d been asked to counsel for a week of high school summer camp.  

“My tampon,” she mumbled in a long sigh of defeat. 

“Ah boy…wow,” I responded, having never had “this” conversation before.  

“Do you mean it’s, um, well…how do I say this — up THERE still?”  

“Yes,” she replied.  “I can’t find it – but I’ll look for it later ‘cause right now I’m going down the zip line” she continued, as she sauntered out the cabin door…  

Now, I’ll be honest, I’ve lost some things in my life:  teeth, a ferret, weight, jewelry, a passport, my marbles, true love and even a set of cut open handcuffs and a dirty prison uniform.  But if there’s one thing I’ve never lost, it’s a tampon!  

I bit my lip trying not to laugh in front of the young lady ~ I certainly didn’t want to make her feel dumb by telling her it’s physically impossible for a tampon to disappear like a juvenile who’s run away from home and can’t find his bread crumb trail.  “Just pull the string” I wanted to shout. But I didn’t. I didn’t have to… 

Because the next day, she skipped towards me with a big smile on her face.  “I found it!” she exclaimed in her best Christopher Columbus voice.  

“The camp nurse removed the applicator for me and said the tampon should find its way out eventually.” 

“The applicator?”  I gasped. “You mean to tell me you had the cardboard tube that encases the tampon lost in your vagina for the last 24 hours?  

“Yes” she smiled naively. 

“Wow, I guess now I know why they call this particular camp ‘Lost Canyon!’

Y


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Comments

  1. Kelli Honeyman says

    October 14, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Wow debbie… now i have heard of the string getting lost and a DR having to pull out a tampon with tweezers, but that is a new one for me. I guess her parents should have explained the process of inserting a tampon a little more clearly. LMAO

    Reply
  2. Two Girls on a Bench says

    October 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Wow, all we have to say is… “wow”
    Aren’t sure whether to laugh or feel concerned for the future — so we’ll just laugh, that’s what we normally do.
    And we’d like to put in a request for the next blog post to be about the open handcuff dirty prison uniform story, that sounds intriguing!

    Reply

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About Debbie

Debbie J. Smith lives in Austin, Texas and is the published writer, stand-up comedian and former NFL cheerleader who lowered her bar so much she tripped on it.

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