If I were a celebrity, this would be my “JSP” – You know, my Jessica Simpson Phase? It’s that time of life when you’ve gone and gained a few pounds so instead of looking fit you look puffy and instead of looking toned you look tubby.
Wait, did I just say tubby? That reminds me…
I interrupt my own story to tell you about a time I ordered a non-fat vanilla latte. The Barista took my order and kindly requested my name. To which I replied, “Debbie.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that” she said. “What is it?”
“Debbie.” I answered.
“So sorry,” she continued as coffee grinders echoed loudly behind her “What is it?”
“Debbie,” I said once more trying to enunciate. “D-E-B-B-I-E” I continued, as I spelled out each letter for her carefully.
“OH!” she laughed a little perplexed but writing it on the cup nonetheless.
Flash forward a few minutes to find me in the back of the coffee shop along with the other patrons as we waited to pick up our drink orders…
“Vanilla Latte for Tubby!”came a voice I neither listened to nor heard.
“Vanilla Latte for Tubby” it came again.
This time I glanced up and quickly back down to my cell phone, still not registering the words.
“Vanilla Latte for Tubby” the young man said a little louder in my direction.
This time I heard each word as if they were stuck in slow motion.
I looked to my left and then I looked to my right, only to gasp when all eyes were on me. I simultaneously broke out in a red bumpy rash and nearly wet my pants. “Holy crap” I screamed at the top of my internal lungs. “I’M TUBBY!!!” “They think my name is Tubby!” I said to myself.
I waddled up to the counter and said to the fine weight, err, I mean wait, staff, “It’s Debbie….my name is Debbie!” as tears of both laughter and humility filled my eyes because the cup read T-U-B-B-Y.
Okay, now where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself?
Ah, yes…puffy…Err, I mean Tubby, or whatever!
Yes, weight is a sensitive topic for many people. I, myself, am currently fighting the battle of poundage with varying results. Nevertheless, laughter is part of a healthy lifestyle. So if all goes well, I’ll literally laugh my ass off!
How much weight I’ve gained isn’t the issue. For me, it’s the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop my physique from becoming more cuddly at this current juncture in my life.
You see, my weight gain is due to a current medical condition. And while it is not permanent, because I am having to learn to accept it for myself, I am finding that I am also learning to accept it for others.
That’s right, as my waistline has expanded, so too has my perception of our over-weight society.
Right or wrong, I am granting everyone permission for pounds. Any stereotype or prejudices I may have held in the past against obesity, I have now lifted. “Oh,” I now think to myself, “he’s probably on a thyroid medication that’s making him rotund.” Or, “she probably has to take steroids to stop her ovarian cancer from spreading so she looks more like a buoy than a girl.”
What my own experience is teaching me is that underneath the new-gained girth, people may be fighting a real battle of life or death.
True, they may be a complete and utter sloth with the laziest of all genes.
But what if they’re not lazy at all?
What if they workout faithfully and eat well and they’re just gaining weight because they’re carting around a ten-pound tumor that has no doubt grown eyes and teeth and about to take it’s first steps and talk?…for example.
And were it to say its first words, it would scream at the top of its chubby and uncomfortable lungs, “Don’t look at me like that! I’m not fat, I’m sick. And if you have a problem with it, call my doctor’s office and ask them why, for the love of God and Bundt cake and treadmills and ding dongs, they can’t get me in for surgery for months?”
Sometimes life just gets in the weigh.
So for my sake, can we please grant one another a bit of grace and room to grow? Or, womb to grow in my case? HA!
And may we pray, “God, grant us the serenity to accept the pounds we cannot lose, the courage to lose the pounds we can, and liposuction to get rid of the difference. Amen.”